About two years ago, I dated this guy briefly. We had great chemistry, he had a great sense of humor, and for the most part we always had a great time together. He knew how to cook, he knew how to fix stuff, he knew how to clean and looking from the outside in, he appeared to be "husband" material. Yet something was missing.
By this time I was actively serving in my church, knew I wanted to go into ministry and knew I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Now I was only 21 and I wasn't looking to get married anytime soon, but I knew I was no longer going to waste my time with someone who I knew I would NEVER marry. I decided I would have rather been by myself! He appeared to be all for the vision God had gave me at first, but months later the relationship fell apart.
Because we were unequally yoked.
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14.
God commands us NOT to be unequally yoked. You can still love people, as the Word tells us love your neighbor as yourself, but it is extremely dangerous when you get into a relationship with someone who doesn't believe in what you believe in - your values are different, your morals are different and your standards are different.
I knew I had a crazy zeal to go deeper in relationship with God and He necessarily didn't in that season of his life. So I didn't get mad, I just accepted it. I've been there before, trying to drag the guy I was dating to church or invite him to worship with me. Yet, you should not have to drag this future spouse of yours to do anything she/he doesn't desire to do. Your future spouse will match your greatness.
If you are in a relationship right now, ask yourself why you are in it? Be real with yourself. Is it because they are attractive? Financially stable? The sex? Because they 'need' you? Because you guys have 'chemistry'? It's going to take a lot more than simply having chemistry, being 'good' in bed, and someone 'needing' you to make the relationship last. Only what's built on Christ will last and have eternal value.
"Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are His. And, let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity." 2 Timothy 2:19
Moreover the Word says, "Flee youthful lust and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:2
I decided I would rather wait, and learn how to rest in my season of being single, than date because I am bored, lonely or anxious.
Whether you are reading this and you are young or your old, if you don't see yourself marrying that person, don't waste your time. Avoid the headache and heartache and learn how to be still. People are watching you. Yet most importantly, God is watching you. If your in a relationship that you know should be over, ask God to give you grace, confidence, discipline, and the words to speak to that person and walk away.
"And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." Matthew 18:9
Be encouraged by this final Scripture, "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31